Mindfulness is the act of bringing awareness to the present moment. It is the act of releasing our attachment to thoughts that keep us in the past, or in the future.
As mothers, it is SOO common to constantly be torn between thinking ten steps ahead (what else do I need to do today; when will his/her nap be; what are we having for dinner; who is going to pick up the kids from school/daycare later) and a few steps backward (did I read to him/her enough yesterday?; did I hug my children enough?; why did I let myself snap and lose my patience?; I feel guilty that I gave my partner attitude this morning)
Having our minds in all of these different places at once inherently causes us stress and anxiety. Mindfulness allows us to find more peace by choosing to live in the now. When we practice mindfulness, we intentionally pause throughout the day to recognize where our minds have drifted to and to identify a grounding anchor to bring us back to the present.
As part of the work I do with Live Mindful, Mama, I share with mothers a variety of grounding anchors that will allow you to find opportunities throughout your busy days to pause and return to the present.
Being a mom myself and also working with moms who experience the common feelings of stress and overwhelm, I’ve learned that three things allow us moms to feel more joy and peace in motherhood.
1. practicing mindfulness more often throughout the day
There is no greater gift to give yourself and your babies than your absolute presence. When we learn to pause, breathe and JUST BE– we become so much more attuned to the little moments that serve as the reward for the hardest (and sometimes most thankless) job of all, being a parent. When we’re too busy to pay attention, we miss the fruits of our labor. We miss the simple smiles or the looks in our direction when our children want to show off a new skill. We breeze right over the hugs and kisses in an effort to get to the next task. We might not notice the sweet way our children interact with a friend or take care of their little stuffed animals or babies. These are our rewards of parenthood. And if we don’t slow down and notice them, it’s much easier to burn out.
2. more consistently recognizing the areas in ourselves that we are neglecting
We are complex and multifaceted people. For example, just because we like our job, doesn’t automatically mean we are holistically happy. Our overall wellness is made up of 8 dimensions– and having even one dimension be neglected can quickly impact our ability to feel true peace and joy. Mindfulness comes into play here. Without mindful awareness of how we’re feeling and what we’re needing, we cannot find the missing links that we need to re-integrate into our lives in order to feel happier.
Part of this mindful awareness is also adopting the belief that I need to fill my own cup before I can keep pouring out love and energy to others. We have to make ourselves believe this for not only our own sake, but also to benefit the people we love most. A stressed mama eventually means a stressed family– plain and simple.
3. releasing the unhelpful narratives we create about motherhood that cause us mom-guilt and stress
Many of us spend motherhood being firmly rooted in some truly unhelpful and unrealistic narratives about what it means to be a good mom. We set the bar so high for ourselves, that there was no way we could live up to our own expectations. We don’t want to ask for help or release control. We often associate feelings of stress, overwhelm, boredom, and exhaustion as signs that we aren’t being a good enough parent. We believe that good moms don’t take breaks, so we feel guilt whenever we do.
Mindfulness is the thread that runs through all of these necessary shifts.
So if you find yourself relating to any of these experiences, I encourage you to live mindful, mama.
